(no subject)

[shewho]

Monday morning, how I hate thee. I would count the ways, but that’d only depress me, so instead I’ll think about the weekend just gone. Or, err, what I can remember of it.

Friday

Started with pain and fever. Not fun.

Continued with bed, and made for TV drama, that had me weeping. I really AM run down!

Got better as there was the rather wonderful Green Feet to attend! Turned up early so as to have space, and enough time, to strap myself into corsetry and voluminous skirtage.

Did some helpful door-birding.

Progressed to ridiculously drunk in record time. As such, memory of comedians is sketchy to say the least. It was all cheeky door-bird charm, right? RIGHT?

Memory of spinning around on the dance floor with skirt joy is unfortunately not sketchy in the slightest…

I won a thing! Which was tremendously confusing later- I had NO IDEA why I was carrying around a Hugh Fernley-Whittingstall (sp?) book. Oh dear.

I really didn’t intend to go to the knicker factory party. I can only claim that martylog kidnapped me in a taxi.*

Yeah, so, er, knicker factory. I’m assuming I didn’t appear in costume. There was an awful lot of blood in a shower. There was random booze, stupid dancing, running around and general silliness. I have a ‘memory’ of possibly jumping off the high thing,** but thinking about it I’m hoping it’s just one of those confusing real seeming dreams.***

Later there was shopping and there was singing along to a guitar until stupid o’clock in the morning, at which point sleeping in a bed with a bunch of people I didn’t know**** seemed more feasible than night buses.

Saturday

It seemed like less of a good idea on Saturday, as the stupid trains to E17 weren’t working, and home / shower / change / emergency food***** before heading Way Out West was necessary.

Richmond! It’s rather nice, isn’t it? Spectacularly good though, was seeing wardytron and fille_a_paris for the first time in too long, the biggest dog in the world,****** and an excellent pub that gets flooded at high tide. I like Richmond.

I don’t like getting from Richmond to Finny P when the transport is gefacked, and I am tiddly enough to forget. Doh.

Anyway, I made it to step-sister’s birthday party with a bottle of lambrini and the best of intentions. Which were wrecked when someone pointed out the jugs of potent cocktails lying around everywhere.

Oh lord, my dad was there and sober. I ‘remember’ sitting talking to him and realising just how foul-mouthed I am when drunk, f-ing this and f-ing that, and really concentrating on trying not to be. FAIL!

Of course, when my siblings plus extras******* arrived and the tequila came out, there was no hope.

Er, I taught my step-sister’s dad’s girlfriend******** how to do tequila slammers. Using the mantra ”Lick! Drink! Bite!”. I think I might burn in hell.

Hahahah scary voicemail messages courtesy of my brother-in-law to be and myself getting a bit gangsta at braisedbywolves.

Running away in a taxi! (Recurring theme?) To braisedbywolves’s housewarming.

Drunkenly acting like a poly-racist+ as soon as I arrived and arguing with some actually quite lovely poly-types. Er, sorry about that Andrew. They kept giving me beer, I can’t have been too offensive. Can I?

Repeated conversation! It’s always the same! Lord!

Being escorted homewards by curious_badger and drasticsturgeon and put on the right bus. This is where my memory ends. I did wake up in the right bed though, bonus! ++

Sunday

Yoga? Ahahahahah no. Death. More like.

Drag self out of house and head to Bethnal Green. Lord, but I spent a lot of time in the East End this weekend.

Wait in pub full of cockernee geeeeezers with Pick Me Up and a shandy, endeavouring to actually pick myself up.

Chap doesn’t actually turn up for the Krays Walk. Woe! Still, it’s a lovely day, so pints were supped in The Approach with mrs_leroy_brown and hoshuteki.

Home for an early night? Well, not before stopping off at the Faltering Fullback to watch the teenagers and their coke habits say “hurrah!” to moleintheground for his earlier running achievements.

Booze soaking kebab.

Unconsciousness.

♥ ♥ ♥

Rinse. Lather. Repeat. My diary tells me I should be out every night this week. I really don’t think that’s appropriate. I feel sick. Moan, moan, moan. Stupid Monday!

Oh, and I think I’ve lost random bits of stuff along the way. Nothing hugely important, but if you find badges / bits of make up / whatever in any of your houses etc, it’s more than likely to belong to me. Whatamess.










* Accuracy of this fact is debatable.

** I’m certainly bruised and achey enough…

*** If I’m bored enough later and happy to embarrass my subconscious I might post ‘em.

**** Fully clothed, sssh.

***** It’s at this point, I realised there was no food in the house, except some left over pizza. p_dan_tic knows me Very Well Indeed :)

****** Seriously, if you turned me into a dog, this one would still have been bigger. Brilliant!

******* M’s old school friends I haven’t seen since they were TINY. They are now hulking great men. Very. Weird. Indeed.

******** Are you concentrating? There’ll be a test!

+ Mostly because I was still in shock from fille_a_paris earlier telling me that she thought I was poly myself, what now?? Is anyone else labouring under that impression?!

++ Oh hang on, is this why? See + above!